w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m
Bob & Tom,
I thought you'd get a kick out of the picture I have attached... Bill and Hillary visited Ft. Wayne in the last couple of weeks and I guy I work with was able to get both of their autogrpahs on your "Back in "98" CD set cover.... When Bill Clinton reached to sign the CD cover he scanned it and paused for a minute, then asked "Do you really want me to sign this?" As you can see he did as well as Hillary....
Obviously there is no shame among either one of them!!!!
Mark Farnbauch in Ft. Wayne
Dear Bob and Tom,
Earlier this week you had a story about a cow falling off a cliff and landing on a mini-van. I think I may have this one beat. Many years ago we were operating between Japan and Korea. We had received a distress call and launched our helicopter to help the crew of a sinking fishing vessel. By the time we arrived at the area there were a couple of boats helping the fishermen out of the water. A couple of weeks later I was sitting in a bar in Japan. There was another American sitting next to me and we started up a conversation. He was an Air Force Officer in the area investigating a sinking of a fishing boat. I started laughing and told him that we were on the scene of this sinking and commented how it is a small world that we meet up this way. Well the joke turns out to be on me. He looks me dead in the eyes and asked if I had seen the cow? Completely confused, I ask him what the hell he is talking about?
After the fishermen had been picked up out of the water the Japanese Coast Guard had them arrested for filling a false report. The fishermen claimed that their boat was sunk by a cow falling out of the sky. The Coast Guard just figured they were drunken fishermen that had done something stupid that had sunk the boat. The men continued to tell the same story over and over again, so an investigation was launched. After looking at the air traffic control radar for the area it was discovered that an Air Force transport plane was in the area at the same time of the sinking. The crew of the plane was questioned if they new or saw anything and they finally came clean.
The Air Force crew had been performing humanitarian missions in Thailand. The local villagers had given them a live cow. The crew used some air sickness pills to relax the cow for the flight. Of course they did not use enough and the cow came to and became very excited. It began running around and smashing into the sides of the aircraft. The crew was worried the cow would cause serious damage to the aircraft. They opened the ramp area in the back of the plane. The cow seeing the light ran for the exit. At the same time as all this is happening there is a little Japanese fishing boat floating around in the open ocean with some men just trying to earn a living.
All I can ever think about is being on that boat and hearing mooo mooo mooo coming from the sky. I wish there was a camera so you could see the look on those guys faces. Now ask yourselves why we spend so much money on smart bombs when we can do the same job with a cow. We can destroy the enemy and feed the people all in one flight.
Have a great day,
Dear Bob and Tom,
You guys Rock! VIP Member since ’06, joined VIP while I was deployed to Afghanistan last year. While in Afghanistan, I was traveling by helicopter around the country checking on my Soldiers detached out to the infantry battalions. Well while flying and at some of the forward operating bases (FOBs) it was quite cold, but at others it was much warmer. I usually never wear underwear but since I was flying in an open Chinook helicopter, it was quite cold! We landed at a FOB that was at a lower elevation and much warmer and I was out walking around with all of my battle rattle, I began to sweat like a “whore in church,” so I ended up dropping my pants (behind a connex) and cutting off my underwear, which I ended up sticking in my assault pack for the next leg of the trip. Well I must have not got the them zipped all the way up in the pack because they fell out of my pack getting back on the helicopter, the well intentioned crew chief at the rear of the bird saw something fall out of my bag and quickly grabbed them because they could have got sucked into the rotors. He then proceeded to grab my shoulder and yell above the rotor noise, Sir, you dropped you underwear. This would not be such a big deal but the whole line of Soldiers getting in the bird was stopped as the crew chief grabbed me, and waved the sweaty underwear in my face. Just for everyone information the CH-47, Chinook, is basically a flying cargo truck, so there is always oil, gear, equipment, mail bags, etc on floor of the helicopter and getting in and out of them can be quite tricky. Never mind if you are at a FOB that regularly gets incoming rockets when ever a helicopter comes or goes, so the crews are in a bit of hurry. So the entire loading process was held up by my sweaty under wear. Guess this could also be an unsmooth moment.
May 9, 2006
Hi Bob, Tom, Christy, Chiiiiiick
You guys rock!
Just thought you guys would enjoy this picture of my neighbor hauling what
looks to be about 300 bags of quick crete concrete mix so he could dig a trench
the way around his fence to stop his dogs from digging holes. I'm not sure
where he got it from but he drove it home with busted spring and blown tires.
there's more! he then got his other older truck and overloaded that too. Very
funny! then drove it past my house with rear bumper dragging the road. Wish
you could have seen it. By the way I am a concrete contractor and it would
cheaper and faster to just call the concrete plant and ordered a truck. Imagine
300 bags of concrete by hand!
August 22, 2006
|Dear Bob, Tom, Kristi, and Chiiiiick,
My niece was married over the weekend in a traditional Catholic
ceremony. The bridesmaids wore lovely strapless gowns. However,
when they took their seats in the pew ahead of me and my
brother, those gowns magically disappeared. To quote my brother "it
was hard not to think about all the boobies on the other side
of those backs." Later at the reception, I learned that
MANY of our male friends and relatives had noticed the optical
illusion and were anxious to look at my photo. I know Bob especially
will enjoy the photo.
Posted Friday, August
|Bob and Tom You Guys Rock,
I am a Federal Agent with the Department of Homeland Security
frequently. I am authorized by the FAA and federal law to fly
have actually been on a plane with Tom during a flight a few
About 2 years ago, I was traveling (armed) and was in the process
escorted onto the plane by the airline agent when a roving team
arrived and informed me that I had been selected for random spot
was cooperative and the airline agent told the TSA personnel
that I was an
armed federal agent. The team acknowledged that I was armed but
insisted on searching me for "weapons" They found my
duty weapon which was
apparently ok. Shortly after that my briefcase was searched and
a leatherman tool. I was informed that I could not board the
the tool. This was absoloutely insane. We argued then the pilot
plane approached and informed the TSA it was his decision and
he escorted me
on the plane. This is a very clear example of the idiots we are
the security checkpoints.
I have been a listening to the show for about 10 years now and
tired. Keep up the good work.
|Bob & Tom...(Hello to Kristy :) and Chick
Years ago while on deployment while in the Marines, our unit
had a chance to visit Singapore. We all know about their strict
rules..that can result in a helluva spanking with a cane.
I got quite the kick out of their trespassing signs, which is
a subtle picture of a man getting shot. No words, just that!
I recently saw this online, and had to send a picture. It reminded
me of a little ditty that you played awhile ago that sounds an
awful lot like "Signs" (made famous by the band Tesla),
but when the verse gets to the jumping the fence part...it ends
in what sounds like a shotgun. I love that one, and if you could
play that in honor of Singapore, that would rock!
Thanks, and keep it up!
Brett in Kaukauna Wisconsin
Posted Friday, June
Dear Bob and Tom,
I was at a second hand store today and I happened to stumble upon this hat
that immediately made me thing of you guys(which I am kind of worried about)
had to buy it to send the picture to you and see what you thought of it.
The hat's great and all, but we really would have preferred
a few pictures of the beavers. But thanks
for thinking of us.
Posted Tuesday, May
|BOB AND TOM,
I had to sent this to ya!! All I could think about was " CAUGHT
A BASEBALL WITH MY FACE"
May 8, 2006
|BOB and TOM you guys rock!!!!!
Everyday after work we all listen to you guys via the computer,
All the cops here are from several different states and enjoy
listening to you all here in the middle of the freakin Desert.
After training the Afghanistan Police we all need to relax,and
regroup over a cold one or two and get a good laugh from you
guys. God knows we need it!!!! Thanks for the steaming audio
and keep rocking guys, and god bless....
Thanks and Take Care.
Ron Zimmerman(Indiana), Mark Weidman,(Montana) Bob Bowden(New
York) and Jon McHugh (Georgia)
Tactical Training Instructor's
Afghanistan Police Program
April 2, 2006
|Hi Bob, Hi Tom, Kristi, Chiiiick!
Long time listener, first time…anything. Friend of Hal
here. I’m stationed in Honduras and have been here for
a year. I’m not able to listen to your show and that bugs
me. I was stationed at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, Ohio for
10 years and listened to your show on WTUE. I remember the first
time I heard your show, it was very early and I was working as
a young gate guard on the main gate, where 4-star Generals drive
through and laughing my ass off and getting strange looks from
the top brass.
You guys were such a huge part of my daily routine for such a
long time, and now, here in a 4th world country I was emailed
a copy of the Cameltoe video and was reminded of the good times.
Thank you Bob and Tom, and the rest of the gang, for keeping
me laughing and helping keep the troops spirits up. I know I’m
not in too much danger where I am, and I appreciate the boys
and girls over there who are, so if you get a chance, let them
know we’re thinking about them over here too.
Also if you get a chance…even though I can’t hear
it…play Haywood’s “Toast” for me. That
was always my favorite song.
Thank you very much
Tech Sergeant Dave DeRamus, US Air Force
Joint Security Force
Joint Task Force Bravo
Soto Cano Air Base, Honduras, Central America
Please see attached photo of myself (on the left) and my bud
JDub in the mountains of Honduras during a joint exercise.
March 27, 2006
I say that because it is 3pm here, even thought it is 7am there.
currently a deployed soldier serving at a customs station between
Turkey called Habur Gate(pronounced Harbor. Don't ask, I have
no idea why.)
We have a combined work force comprised of US Army soldiers,
Defense civilians, Iraqi nationals, and Kurdish boarder guards.
close to 100 people working and living in the same
4 story stone building affectionately referred to as the Marble
I listened to your show while I was stationed at Ft Campbell,
but once we
were deployed in August I was unable to listen for close to two
Needless to say I was not the same without my morning fix.
Between August and October my team moved from Kuwait to near
finally to Habur Gate. The first morning we were here, I hear
familiar voices coming over the PA system. Low and behold, It's
the Bob and
Tom show. Someone stationed here was a VIP member and was downloading
songs at night and playing them the next morning from 6-10am.
After about a month of this, the daily broadcasts were stopped.
out that the VIP member had been called back to his unit for
the states. The moral here was quite low because the morning
were kind of a reminder of home for all of us, not to mention
So I found out how he got the show on the PA and signed up to
become a VIP
member so I could continue his legacy. In 3 months I haven't
missed a show
and I've become sort of a hero out here.
An interesting note, of the close to 100 people working here,
not a single
one of us is a non-smoker.
A few days ago, we had a moment of silence out on the balcony
building to commemorate an attack by Saddam's forces on the near
Everyone who worked here were standing shoulder to shoulder and
one of us had one lit up! It was probably the most beautiful
ever seen next to the birth of my daughter. When I saw this,
thought of the Bob and Tom Classic "Smoking In front of
the Building" I was
wondering if you could get that on for your fans up here at Habur
Wow, didn't mean for this to be so long. Thanks for keeping some home sick
soldiers company during this rather lengthy deployment
SPC Christopher Kunkel
October 27, 2005
|Bob, Tom, Kristi, and Chick,
First let me start by saying I am a Huge fan of all of you and
the show. I have been listening every morning for 2 years now
and have had to pull over on the side of the road numerous
times on my way to work (I am a nurse so I work early in the
am) because I am laughing my ass off and I don't want to kill
Anyways, I have also become quite a fan of Mike Birbiglia so
of course I was excited when I heard he would be coming to Albuquerque
(Oct 14th) for the Friends of Bob and Tom show. My friend Gretchen
and I spent the afternoon preparing for our chance to see Mike
in person (we even brought a sharpie marker in hopes he would
sign our boobs). Now you can imagine how disappointed we were
when he failed to show up. Now all I can say is: What a pussy!
and what happened? I have attached a picture for you to see what
he missed and I hope that you will rub it in his face the next
time he is on the show. At least one thing still stands true,
I love you guys. (and Kristi by the way you rocked at the show).
A disappointed fan,
P.S. In the picture I am on the left and Gretchen in on the right.
August 25, 2005
Dear Bob & Tom
I listen to your show every morning, on my way
this morning I was really glad to hear that the show was recognizing
what the majority of America takes for granted, truck drivers.
I know your show has a very large audience, maybe if a little
more media such as yourself would take the time to do this the
country would better appreciate what exactly trucks and especially
the drivers mean to the life blood of the US. It doesn’t
matter what it is, if we go to the store or to a comedy club
everything we touch was touched by a truck at some point, America
needs to remember this and occasionally tell a driver we all
appreciate what they do, it’s a hard life and job, the
general public needs to understand this and think about it the
next time they pass a truck or complain about truckers.
Right on brother. Truckin-A!
August 23, 2005
|I was out to lunch the other day, and I overheard
the lady at the next table complaining about her sex life--she
said she was so desperate she'd even have sex with Donnie Baker--as
I laughed 'till I cried, my friend who listens to 'other
stations' had a puzzled look on her face. About that time, the
table behind me said-swear to god she would!! It's out, the man,
the myth--Donnie Baker!!
Keep up the good work!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Dear Bob and Tom,
My name is Brian Hollis and I am an instructor pilot in the
KC-135 Air Refueling Tanker at Grissom ARB. As you can guess
few years have involved frequent Middle East travel and deployment.
I was listening to the show and you mentioned the bathroom facilities
in some Asian countries. I have a great shot of what to expect
when stopping at your basic Middle Eastern truck stop. Please
note: no paper and the smallish water container next to the hole.
Yes, everyone gets that "there is no way", look that
first time in country. By the way, this is an extremely clean
facility for this part of the world.
Major Brian Hollis
We've had people convince us to go to some hole-in-wall joints,
but this is a little out of our comfort zone. We're also guessing
you don't see a lot of white shoes in that part of the world.
Dear Bob and Tom,
Thanks for the Podcast. Being in and out of my sales vehicle
I miss allot of the show. NOT ANY MORE! Toby Keith's visit was
always my favorite. I don't think I've ever heard a prettier
melody than Talibans'. Try to schedule
those clips on your next "best of" show
Thanks Lots From Central PA.
You Guys ROCK.
Thanks for the kind letter, and we'll see
if we can get that on for you. We hear this song is quite popular
among the members of the real Taliban as well.
Why don't you do away with the Listener E-Mail
? It has not been updated since 9/04.
We just hadn't gotten an e-mail that has
captured our imagination and deserved to be posted until yours
came rolling in. And actually, it was 9/02.
Posted Thursday, September 2, 2004
Dear Bob and Tom,
While attending my son's 3rd grade meet, greet, and orientation
we had a very funny experience. The principle was going over
curriculum and what the school hoped to achieve in the assorted
test required by the state. After concluding his presentation,
he asked if the parents had any questions. A few seconds past
when he acknowledged a hand in the back of the room. The man
wanted to know if they were going to provide "trigonometry,
calculus, or an overview of nuclear fusion for the third graders
with an accelerated level of learning" Myself and several
others started to laugh out loud as a small whisper filled the
room. the principle obviously not a listener of the Bob and Tom
Show and stood there with a rather bewildered look on his face.
The Assistant Principle than stood up and announced that the
only advanced studies was a class on Marsupials, and as
he walked away turned and said "because they're fast" Laughter
than filled the room (I'm sure some laughed just to fit in) It
turned what was a very informative night a huge success and got
me to sign up to donate my time to the school. And to think I
owe it all to a Marsupial!! You guys Rock!
Same Problem Different Country
Dear Bob and Tom,
First let me say I'm one of the many soldiers listening to your show over the
internet in Iraq and the MP3 makes listening so much easier. I have been stationed
here for about 10 months now. As part of the rebuilding of Iraq we are building
schools and hospitals. One of the low priorities is the rebuilding and widening
of roads. The other day I was out on a convoy and we were sent into oncoming
traffic because the there was road work ahead. For the next half hours we stayed
in the oncoming traffic lane while there was a perfectly good lane on the other
side of the medium. The only thing missing was the Orange barrels, because
there to poor to get them.
Chris in Iraq
Posted Friday, August 13, 2004
Be Careful What You Sing
Dear Bob & Tom,
I would like to thank you for introducing the song "its
hard to kiss the lips at night" to me on your show yesterday.
Last night I was telling my 14 year old son about the song and
he wanted to hear it, so we looked it up on your web site, mean
while my wife was standing in the kitchen listening in on our
conversation. We were having a good time and when we played the
clip of the song and started laughing, my wife went wild,
started throwing dishes, slamming things around and threw
a laundry basket at me full of clothes. So I had a quiet
night sleeping on the couch after I re-folded all the
clothes, but it was worth it.
I guess the song pretty much says it all and the TRUTH HURTS.
loyal fan from local repair station
On the Road Again
Dear Bob and Tom,
You guys Rock. Long time listener, 1st time emailer
I've always try to listen to your show as much as possible.
My new job has me driving an hour and ten minutes to work.
The thing is I pick your show up as
I leave Sturgis, Michigan (fading in and out).
About half way down to Auburn Indiana I have to switch to a Fort Wayne station
(fading in and out half the time). Fading in and out is such a drag; add that
to the DayLight Savings Time that I encounter, I run into déjà vu
(or redundancy) half way down when I have to switch radio stations. I heard
you refer to your MP3 capability with VIP privilege. So I bought me a 20 gig
MP3 player, vehicle speaker adaptor and joined your VIP (since I'm one of your
VIP's can I invite you 4 for a cook out at my house?) and then listen, one day
removed, to you great show. It's great, I pause it when I leave the vehicle (I'm
a cable TV service tech) and continue playing when I get back into the truck.
Never have to miss a second, it's great. Great website, not blue on black. You
guys (and Kristi) really do rock.
Posted Tuesday, May 4, 2004
And on the Seventh Day They Rested...
I recently was enjoying you guys spatting over religion and Christi
getting uptight when you make comments defying religion. Well,
after listening to several broadcasts concerning this delightful
topic, I realized something. This was the most church activity
I had consumed since I woke up and realized church is just a place
for people to show up and compare clothing once a week and give
their money to someone who doesn't pay taxes. Then like a flash
in the night I realized something else. Church in most areas is
one maybe 2 days per week, and you only worship ONE god. However,
The Bob and Tom show is 5 days per week plus a recap on Saturday
where I live. The other totally amazing thing is there is only
one god, allegedly, but the there is two of you guys to "worship"
6 days per week. Officially I am now a full time washed in the
blood of the lamb, Church of Bob and Tom member. Carry on.
Shembala Haboola My Brothers,
Posted Wednesday, March 31,
Operation Camel Toe
Kristi, and Chick,
I am an Army Reservist in the 428th Military Police Company
from South Bend currently stationed just west of Baghdad Iraq.
Recently several of my buddies and I were in a market place
in Baghdad and found this t-shirt and thought you would enjoy
it. Unfortunately we cannot listen to your show over here and
it is one of the many things that we miss from back home. I
hope you enjoy the photo, if we find more we will be glad to
send them. In photo #1, from left to right, are myself, SSG
Jeremy Dowell, and SFC Gery Mullins. Photo #2 is SSG Tony Scheidenberger.
Martin P. Grooms
Posted Tuesday, March 23 2004
Godzilla Does it Again
Half the people I work with now think I've got a screw loose.
I was listening to the show this a.m. (03-05-04) as I drove
to work. I was almost at work when Kristi read the story about
Godzilla retiring. I knew what was going to happen next. I was
pulling into my parking space when your phone rang. I knew who
was calling. I knew what the joke was going to be, but I still
couldn't turn it off. I sat there and listened as the "Japanese
tourists" talked to you. Not only was I late for work,
but apparently a lot more people than I realized walked by and
saw me sitting there. All the talk today was about how I was
sitting in the car all by myself just laughing hysterically.
Someone even called my wife at HER work to try to find
out what's wrong with me. She called and said, "Let me
guess, Bob and Tom?" She doesn't get it, but I think, You
Thanks Kevin Pollack... and Christopher
Dear Bob & Tom
Last night I looked at my wife and out of the blue I said
Marsupials scare me
and she said
.. I didnt know that she had
been listening last week when you re-played the bit. I had a flash
back and felt compelled to blurt it out
. Imagine my surprise
when she replied in a very poorly imitated Christopher Walken,
because theyre fast
. Thanks for the late
Age Doesn't Change a Thing
Dear Bob & Tom,
I was listening to your program the other day and you were discussing
marriage. I have been with the same woman for 58 years (we wed
in 1945 while I was serving in the Navy). The woman takes my
expensive cigars and tosses them into the toilet, of all places!
It's not that she's worried about my health, either; she claims
she won't tolerate the foul smell in "HER" house.
I'm 81 years old, by God!, and I have to sleep on a bed every
night with a dozen pillows on it! And by the way, I inherited
this old house from my grandfather - so it ain't even her house
noways! Just thought you'd like to know.
Posted Thursday, March 4 2004
Fox is Even Funny In the Middle East
I'm a soldier in Kuwait waiting to go to Iraq and I wanted to
tell you guys how good your CD is. There is a sergeant that is
in the same tent as me. He looks and acts like a stuck up sergeant.
I have never even seen him smile let alone laugh. My parents got
me one of you guys CD's for christmas and me and some of the other
soldiers were laughing and listening to it. The sergeant came
in and listend to the joke about the "two Arabs that came
to america to see which one became the most American at the end
of the year. He laughed so hard he was about to cry. and now he
has loosen up a little. So in a long way I'm kinda thanking you
Posted Friday, February 13 2004
You Never Know Who's Listening
My wife and I have a 5 month old Golden Retriever named Wrigley.
Yes he is a Cubs fan and Chick, he is a Big Sweetie. Every
morning when I leave for work, I put Wrigley in his cage and turn
on The Bob & Tom Show so he can listen. This morning, I was
in a hurry and forgot to turn on the radio. Just before I stepped
out to the garage, I heard him bark. When I walked back into the
room he was looking at me with his head slightly tilted to the
side. I then realized what was wrong. I turned on the radio and
there was the signature Bob and Tom laugh. Wrigley laid down in
his cage as if to say, ÒOK, you can leave now.Ó
Sometimes you never know who your biggest fans really are.
Fort Wayne, IN
Battle Stress Relievers
I just wanted to write and share my feelings about your show.
My name is Jeremy Daniel and I am a SGT in the U.S. Army. I recently
got stationed in Fort Carson, Colorado and was relieved to find
that I can hear your show here. But that's not what I wanted to
share. I really just want to say thanks. I returned from Iraq
in September after being deployed for over 11months. Initially
my unit was in Kuwait and due to return home in March, but Saddam
had other plans for us. We crossed into Iraq that month. I had
a cd player mounted in my HMMWV. You can't believe how music can
soothe you after being shot at. Anyways, I had a burnt cd with
some of you guys' stuff on it. Me and my soldiers listened to
it and laughed over and over again. I would never have thought
it possible to be able to laugh after a fire fight, but when you're
in that sort of situation you learn a whole new way to cope. Eventually
that cd was destroyed due to constant use and sandstorms. I'm
not sure if anyone has ever thanked you, but I want to. You guys
helped me maintain my sanity. I'm a 19D, Cavalry Scout, and my
job is particularly dangerous. The majority of the time we're
in front of everyone else looking for the bad guys, so it's one
of the more stressful jobs in the Army. But thanks to you guys,
some of that stress was relieved. I guess I just want to say thank
you all and God Bless all of you and the United States of America.
Please respond so I can be sure you recieved this.
SGT Jeremy Daniel
Posted Tuesday, February 3 2004
Just Like the Real Thing... Only Different
You guys are really confusing us here in Utah. I turned on KBER
101.1FM this morning, as I always do, to listen to you, and was
greeted by a Larry King commercial! You do such a great job
with your parody (maybe it's not a parody), that it took me at
least 30 seconds before I realized it was the real thing.
I'm not certain who made the decision to run the commercial
conjunction with your broadcast, but it's perfect! No one would
listen to the commercial that wasn't already listening to you!
Someone has a wonderful sense of humor and timing!
While I have your attention, I would like to notify you of
serious safety problem. As you know, there has been a lot of
discussion regarding the unsafe use of cell phones while
driving. I'm starting a campaign about the unsafe listening
your show while driving. It's much more distracting than cell
phones. There have literally been times (e.g., Chick's
prostrate exam, guest appearances by Drew Hastings, etc.) that
have had to pull off the road to laugh.
Keep up the good work!
Posted Friday, January 30 2004
Dear Bob Tom Kristi and Chicky,
My wife and I where recently watching one our favorite shows,
Mythbusters, on the discovery Channel and one of the Myths they
tried to disprove was the Toothbrush being stored away from the
toilet because of the fecal chloraphorm (I can't spell...) bacteria.
I was very interested because while recently listening to your
show I had heard you mention this and moved my toothbrush. They
did a month long study with over twenty toothbrushes around the
bathroom and two a few rooms away covered with a dish. Everyday
they got the toothbrushes wet and applied toothpaste. at the end
of the month they found that every toothbrush, even the ones rooms
away, had developed the bacteria. They result that the poo bacteria
is everywhere and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Just
thought you would like to know to add another reason for you to
worry. On a completely different subject, I was first exposed
to Bob and Tom when I was young and was hoping you could play
the first song I ever heard, and loved. The song was the 'incredible
nose' about the blind man with a strong sense of smell. Thank
you~you guys rock.
P.S. I also thought chick was Black for some reson?
The Camel Toe Surgery
Dear Bob and Tom,
We sent one of you "Camel Toes" CD to my brother-in-law
(a prominent cardiovascular surgeon in Chicago) for a Christmas
present. He wasn't familiar with your show. He took the CD to
play in the OR before listening to it on his own! As the first
song began to play his thoughts were "Oh sh*t, I'm going
to be fired!!!!!"(there were no other males in the OR - well
except for the patient who was out under anesthesia!) The rest
were all females!!! Fortunately mid through the song they began
chucking and grinning and laughing. Job Saved and the CD is now
highly requested during OR procedures!
Thanks for a great CD!!!!
Posted Thursday, January 29 2004
The Day the MRI Was Ruined
Dear Bob & Tom,
You guys rock! I wanted to tell you a story about how you
almost ruined my MRI because of you and your show. On Christmas,
I injured my knee and when I went to see the doctor, he scheduled
an MRI to see just what I had done to it. The MRI was first thing
in the morning, so I got to the hospital and was getting ready
for the MRI when the technician said the machine gets really loud
so I could either just have plain earplugs or they had a headset
in which they could tune any radio station in I wanted. Well,
I told them to tune in Bob and Tom. Now, your show is funny enough
on a day to day basis, but this was during the "Best of the
Bob and Tom Show," so since it was the very best of all of
your moments, it was constantly hilarious. At one point, I got
to laughing during the MRI. Suddenly, the radio cut out and this
mysterious voice comes over the headphones and says, "Uh,
sir, we can't be having any laughing during the scan. You must
remain perfectly still." Well, that did it. Now I'm consciously
trying not to laugh. I was successfully able to not laugh the
rest of the scan, but that was a long 30 minutes of concentrating
real hard. At one point, I even began humming and whistling to
myself trying to drown out and not pay attention to what you were
saying, but to no avail. Suddenly, another technician comes in
and says they are all done, at which point I busted out with laughter
because it was all pinned up inside. A few minutes earlier and
they would have had to start all over! Thanks for the great show.
Posted Thursday, January 22
Why We Rock!
Long time listener, first time e-mailer. In Contrast to all other
morning talk shows in the nation, you guys rock. Your hard edge
and timely sense of humor is the epitome of my good morrow. In
Timely I mean two ways, the best time of the day. And secondly,
but mostly important, you guys know when a joke sucks, and when
to stop arousing something. Your comical stunts and musical exposition
are greatly appreciated. You make one 18 year old, blue collar,
monty python watching, death metal listening realist, very very
happy. If it hasn't been for you guys over the past 2 years, I
would still be in high school. Thanks for taking the time to read
what I took the time to write, which you took the time to inspire.
Beau in Stockton
Dickin' Around at Work
Hey, you guys ROCK!
No names now as I still live in the town.
I worked as a Police Officer for a small Midwestern Iowa town
(6,000population) back in the early 90's. We had a guy in town
that was a real dickhead and was always causing us headaches.
Just a basic "prick". I found out that our Department's
radar unit would activate his car alarm so we always had to remember
to mute it when we drove by. On nights when it was slow I would
park a block or so away, turn on my radar unit and set his car
alarm off. I would watch him turn on his lights and come racing
outside to see who was breaking into his car. After checking the
car, I would watch him go back inside, turn the lights off and
go back to bed. As soon as all the lights were off, I would light
it up again. If I really wanted to dick with ihm, I would show
up and warn him to keep the noise down. I hate a job where you
can't have a little fun.
If You See Kaye...
You guys rock!
After all these years (I'm 34), I finally understand why this
one Senior Class boy would walk past me on the school bus singing,
"If you see Kaye...tell her I miss her..." I never understood
why that was so funny...until I was browsing on the VIP site and
came across Bob Kevoian's audio page...and it all sort of, um,
came together... But, thanks to you guys, I finally got it!
Thanks for the laugh....
Posted Tuesday, January 20 2004
Across the USA
Dear Bob and Tom, Chick, and Cristie
I just want to thank you for all the laughs that you give us,
my wife and I listen to you on the way to work, we laugh all the
way there, my wife works for anmial law enforcement, and I am
an aircraft technition. Both of us have stressful jobs, we get
to work around 8 am we call each other sometimes to let each other
know what song is coming on. I have listened to you all over the
country at one time or another and no matter where you go the
Bob and Tom show is always a conversaiton starter, I have made
a lot of friends just conversing about your show. Again I just
want to thank you for giving us a reason to get into the car everymorning.
A proud fan
Who Doesn't Want One of Those For Christmas
Dear Bob and Tom,
I volunteered my husband to play Santa Clause for my women's club
fundraiser. (I'm still sleeping on the sofa for that one.) We
would put the kids on his lap and my husband (AKA Santa) would
read their Christmas wish lists out loud.
One little boy sat on his lap and my husband began to read his
"You want a Tonka truck, a game boy cube, a football and
a big pa........" My husband immediately stopped talking
and his body started shaking from holding in his laughter. We
were all confused to what was so funny. He finally asked the little
boy..."why don't you help Santa with this word here."
The little boy smiled and said, "Oh Santa, that is a big
puzzle!" He told the little boy that every boy wants one
of those and gave him his bag of candy and sent him on his way.
My husband gave us the letter and had to take a break to gather
his composure. The little boy had spelled puzzles.....P-U-S-S-I-E-S.
My husband returned and told us that the only mistake the boy
made was asking for a big one instead of a tight one.
Posted Wednesday, January 14
The Green Bay/ Shoe-In Curse
Dear Bob, Tom, Kristi, and that other guy( what's his name?),
Anyway I just purchased your VIP web access and its great, but
I do have a question. Is chicks head really that big or does the
camera add like 5 inches in diameter? In closing i would just
like to say i have been a huge fan for 5 years and i have turned
20 plus people to devoted bob and tom listeners. Chick, my whole
family loves you and your NFL picks helped me win money, but i'm
a hard core packer fan, and you cursed them this last weekend.
Thanks for such a great show.
Vending Machine Karma
Bob and Tom, Kristi and Chick,
I just wanted to thank you.... and I have been listening to you
guys for a few years..... LUV YA!!! Well to my point, I was listening
to you all morning from 5 am, here in Cinci and I heard all about
the Vending machine Karma thing from Tom. Today I was on my way
to work and I needed stamps... So I stopped in at my local Biggs,
to get some stamps out of the machine... I stood there thinking
do I need 10 or just 20? Decided on 10 and put the money in and
chose 10 but when I reach in to get my stamps I found TWO books
of 10 and my
change! It aint the lottery, but it sure feels good sticken it
to the man.
Jonathan the art lizard
Posted Tuesday, January 13 2004
Keeping Sane Overseas
Dear Bob and Tom,
You guys rock! I am currently in the Air Force, and am stationed
in England. The differences between the two countries were pretty
hard to get used to at first. The one thing that has kept me feeling
at home is the fact that I have an all access VIP pass!!! I listen
to your show every day! Thanks for making me feel like I'm at
Posted Monday, January 5 2004
Raiding the Air Waves
I am in the Air Force in Germany, and with my work schedule I
don't get to listen that often. I listened to u religiously before
I joined the military. I am subscribed to your website and have
passed the word around about your show. Now many people come to
my house just to here clips from the show. So from the troops
at Spangdahlem AB, Germany, Happy Holidays
And Thank You for being the funniest people on
When I was in the states your show has made me almost wreck
my car on numerous occasions from laughing.
Senior Airman Joshua Henry
Posted Friday, December 19
Glad We Can Help Make the Season Bright
Dear Bob & Tom,
My husband was injured almost two years ago and is now a quadroplegic.
We have three young children and needless to say, life has drastically
changed. We listen every morning during the two hours it takes
just to get him ready for the day. The invasive procedures he has
to endure during that time could be a miserable experience,
but thanks to your show, we actually laugh all the way through.
I know you have many fans that appreciate your show, but
no one appreciates it as much as I do. It breaks my heart to watch
my husband struggle with tasks most of us take for granted - but
to see him enjoy those deep belly laughs that bring tears
to your eyes - I can't thank you enough.
I hope each and every one of you experience the joy you bring
to our lives. Have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year. I've
attached a picture of our family.
Posted Tuesday, December 9
Now You're a VIP
Dear Bob and Tom (and Kristi and Chick)
You guys Rock! I logged onto my new VIP pass for the very first
time today to view the Studio Cam. I happened to open it during
a commercial. And I can say it was riveting to see Tom reading
and to see Chick, whom I dearly love, take a drink of soda and
appear to burp. I enjoy your show, it makes my morning bearable.
My VIP pass has been well spent money, as I love the d/l you have.
Yours in the morning,
Making Birth a Little Easier
My wife recently gave birth to our second child
and on the way to the hospital we tuned into your show. Normally
she doesn't get to listen to you because she is getting our 6
year old ready for school and she doesn't want to subject him
to penis and vagina talk, so this was a new experience for her.
Needless to say, the laughter added to her labor pains but she
didn't want me to change the channel even though she was in serious
pain. The bottom line is we got to the hospital and 5 hours later....BOOM...she
had the baby. She believes the laughter she had from listening
to your show helped with the labor. Thanks for the help and could
you play the new "Pussy" song as that is her new favorite
P.S. - she makes a point to turn on your show now after our son
heads off to school.
Doug from Cincinnati
Posted Wednesday, December 3
Scrotum on the Brain
Dear Bob and Tom,
I am a second grade teacher in Michigan. My husband has our alarm
set for your radio show and often I listen to it for a few minutes
while I wake up. This morning I heard "The Scrotum Song".
I turned off my radio after it was over and got ready for work.
As I walked into my building, I noticed the song was stuck in
my head. As I began teaching my innocent little seven and eight
year olds, I was humming to myself, "Scrotum, scro o-o-tum,
it's my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin. Scrotum, Scro-o o-tum, it's
the thing I keep my testes in"! Do you know how dirty I felt?!
I'm singing to myself about a scrotum I don't even have! Thanks
a lot, Bob and Tom!
Have a great day,
We're Like Having a Friend on the Inside
Dear Bob & Tom
Membership perks. I got pulled yesterday morning by the local
cops in Rapid City SD. You all were playing on the radio it was
just after the show started. the cop heard you playing, and ask
If I was a friend of Hal, to which i replied "Hal, yes!"
He informed me I was just to get a warning instead of a ticket,
A club perk he said. Please play anything By rodney C., he seems
to be the cops favorite. Thanks
Posted Tuesday, December 2
Dear Bob and Tom:
I am a surgeon in Youngstown Ohio and was recently invited to
a 2 week medical mission in Nuevo Progreso, Guatemala with a group
out of San Francisco, California. A group of 31 of us spent multiple
days evaluating, operating on and medically treating approximately
1200 patients. The poverty and severity of disease were such that
it was a very overwhelming situation emotionally. After about
7 or 8 days we were all sitting around together one night. The
mood was fairly down at that point. One of the girls went out
of the meeting room we were in and left saying she was doing a
'beer run'. I quietly began the 'b double e, double r un, beer
run', which immediately caught everyone's attention. Apparently
your show does not air in San Francisco as no one had heard of
the song or of your show. Well, I was asked to repeat the lines
3 or 4 times, and soon we were all dancing around to the song.
It brought a definite high to the otherwise gloomy evening. The
scrotum song followed. Thanks for providing some entertainment
during our trip.
James Smith, M.D.