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w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m

June 1 - 5, 2009

Rise of the Nerdist
Chris Hardwick is on a mission.  He wants to prove once and for all that being a nerd is nothing to be ashamed of; that one can live the “Nerdist” lifestyle without being a stereotypical geekwad.  He’s doing this with stand-up comedy, writing for WIRED Magazine, writing horror movie soundtracks and starring in movies like Terminator 3 and House of 1000 Corpses. He's also the host of the new G4 program Web Soup which debuts Sunday at 9pm. The show is will take a look at the week's best viral videos and everything else that's hot on the web at the moment. Okay, that sounds a little nerdy too, but we're sure Chris will pull it off well.

FACTOID – Chris began his nerdy lifestyle as a kid in the 90’s writing comedy songs about gadgets as part of the duo Hard ‘N Phirm.

 
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Frankly Speaking
If imitation is the highest form of flattery, then comedian Frank Caliendo must one of the nicest guys in Hollywood. A comedian and master impressionist, Caliendo can be seen each week on TBS hosting and starring in his own sketch comedy show, Frank TV, and each Sunday making football picks on FOX NFL Sunday. And while that does keep him busy, he's still able to find time to perform stand-up in theaters across the country.

 

Barnhart to Heart
Standup comedian Don Barnhart was one of the first ever graduates of the Second City Conservatory in Los Angeles. Since earning his diploma (we're assuming you you do in fact get a diploma), he’s built a career touring the world, headlining comedy clubs over 200 nights a year and dispensing his brand of physical facial expressions, witty, off-the-wall observations and upbeat, fast paced, improvisational comedy. In addition to his work on stage, Barnhart is also an accomplished actor and director. Along with a couple of national commercial spots, Barnhart wrote, starred and directed the movie China Dolls. He's also been seen in the films Species, In the Army Now and Apollo 13.

 

Big Nose Little Dog
Comedian Mario DiGiorgio hasn’t been in the business long, but when you can win a “Funniest Person in Austin” contest less than a year after joining the profession, you know you’ve made a good career move. The to add to his resume, he followed that up by becoming a finalist in the HBO/Aspen Open Call for Stand-Up; was a finalist in Comedy Central’s Laugh Riots competition and was the principal comic in an Anheuser-Busch industrial commercial. These days, Mario can be found touring the country with an ever-swelling catalogue of smart, inventive material. Along with his budding stand-up career, Mario has also started his own clothing line called BigNoseLittleDog, and wrote the uplifting book A Cynic’s Guide to a Rich and Full Life.

 

The Great
American Storyteller

Known as one of the great story tellers in comedy, Tonight Show veteran Ron Shock doesn’t have to write a lot of material, because almost all of his stories are true. When you’ve lived a life as adventurous as his, it’s almost impossible to make anything up. Before becoming a comedian, Ron studied to be a priest, was on a chain gang in Louisiana, was arrested for being a jewel thief, then spent time in prison. But that’s not all, when he got out of prison he became the VP of a Fortune 500 Company and an inventor who holds three patents in electronics. Now, with all that excitement behind him, Shock has turned to stand-up comedy and taken his tales on the road to clubs across the country.

In the Nick of Time
Nick Griffin began doing standup comedy back in 1987 as a way to voice his frustrations with life and to avoid having a job with a boss. Sure he may be dark, cynical, depressed and has a problem getting along with women, but Griffin is one of our absolute favorite guests and is a must see if he performs in a club near you. Nick has been featured on Comedy Central's Premium Blend, The Late Show w/ David Letterman, The Late Late Show w/ Craig Ferguson and is a regular on The BOB&TOM Comedy All-Stars Tour.

 

Rural Genius
Growing up in a world where he was saturated with country music, bad haircuts and Catholic schools, James Johann had no choice but to turn to stand-up comedy to keep from going insane. Well, it was either that or professional therapy, and this option was a lot cheaper than a shrink. And while he may look young, don’t let James’ boyish appearance fool you, he’s actually a long-time veteran of the joke-telling business. In those years behind the mic, he's been able to hone his high-energy comedy and perfect his self-deprecating sense of humor into what audiences now enjoy today.

 

Up at the Top
of the Box Office
Since Toy Story hit theaters in 1995, Pixar has been setting the standard for animated films. The companies newest film, Up is no exception. Finishing first at the box office in it's opening weekend bringing in nearly $70 million, Up has become one of the year's biggest hits. Along with all that money, Up is also receiving rave reviews from movie-goers and critics alike. This isn't the first animated hit for director and co-writer Pete Doctor, he was also the man behind Pixar's Monster's Inc, and collaborated on last year's Wall-E.

 

Daniel Tosh vs. The Internet
Comedian Daniel Tosh has always been outspoken and outrageous, but until now, he has only used these talents for stand-up comedy. But now, on his new show Tosh.0, his using his powers to take on the Internet, one blog, vlog, post and tweet at a time. Beginning June 4th, Tosh will host his new show on Comedy Central at 10pm, and the virtual world had better be ready. Tosh is a Tonight Show veteran, is frequently on Comedy Central, has been featured on The Late Show with David Letterman a number of times, starred in a series of Taco Bell commercials and is one of the few guests we've allowed to remain in the studio after taking off his pants.

 

Relive Woodstock in Your Living Room
It's been 40 years since hordes of young music lovers took over a small area in New York and took part in the most famous and influential rock concert of a generation, but the legacy of Woodstock remains to this day. In 1970, director Michael Wadleigh won an Academy Award for his documentary of the event, a movie that was almost as important as the actual concert. On June 9th, you can once again experience the event that helped define an era with the DVD and Blu-Ray release of that film, Woodstock. This three disc set includes the director's cut of the film, exclusive interviews, and 18 live performances from the concert as never seen before.

 

A Tonight Show Triple?
Now that Conan O'Brien has taken over The Tonight Show, comedian Sean Morey has got a new goal. He made guest appearances on the program when both Johnny and Jay were hosting, so the question is, can he pull off the hat trick? Morey has been a friend of the BOB&TOM show for longer than we can remember and his songs have been popping up on our albums since the 80's. But we're not the only ones that enjoy his music; he recently placed first and third in the comedy division of the International Songwriting Contest with his tunes Dear Santa and The A.D.D. Song. Along with those two favorites, Morey is famous for his other tunes The Man Song, The Woman Song, The Man That Doesn't Exist and Dickin' Around at Work.

 

We'd Like
to Buy a Vowel
The only thing harder to spell than Costaki Economopoulos' name, is the weekly feature he hosts, The Economonologue. However, we figure that sense it's a made up word, we've got a little wiggle room if we happen to misplace an 'o' or a 'u.' And though his is not a name you'd want to get as a puzzle on Wheel of Fortune, it is one you don't seeing on our guest board because he's one of the most clever comedians working today.

 

Vague But True
Whether he's in the studio, on the phone, or live on his special ISDN line, comedian Tim Bedore joins BOB&TOM every Wednesday to bring us a new edition of his popular weekly feature, Vague But True. In these musings, Tim talks about whatever is on his mind at the time, whether that be politics, life lessons, spring breaks, or stories on how animals are trying to wipe out the human race. But no matter the topic, folks all over the country are glued to their radios waiting to hear what Bedore has to say.

 

A Report To Remember
World-famous stand-up comedian Bob Zany is set to deliver his eagerly anticipated weekly installment of The Zany Report and we couldn't be more excited. But if for some reason you aren’t exhausted from laughing when it’s all said and done, there's always BobZany.com where you can test your hand at punch line writing by playing Fix The Joke Baby. Pick up one of those "Salmon: The Other Pink Meat" bobbers while you're at it.

 

California Years
It’s been almost five years since singer/songwriter/storyteller Jill Sobule joined us in the studio. For those who can’t remember that far back, she’s the one who sings the humorous song about the male porn star, Money Shot. Sobule is one of those rare musicians whose clever lyrics are surrounded by melodies that just plain sneak up on you, and then run through your head for weeks afterward. Though Jill often uses her music to tell amusing stories, don’t be fooled, Jill can rock the house when she drops her acoustic ax and goes electric. Hopefully when she stops by she’ll share a few tunes from her new album California Years, a project that was funded by her loyal fans.

CHECK IT OUT - Jill has a deal for BOB&TOM listeners!
Buy her new album
and save 50% and you'll get a FREE MP3
when you join her online community.

 
Quiz Master
Due to last week's Memorial Day holiday, Scott Dunn took a break from his pursuit of historical comedy, but this week, you'd better start cramming because he's back with an all new History Lesson and History Quiz. Dunn is a stand-up comedian, a novelist, a father of two, and a husband of one. In his spare time (when he's got any) he writes jokes for a number of shows including "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader." And that's a little bit about Scott Dunn
 


 

"Young women are like warm donuts, and older women are like crackers. Sometimes you feel like having a cracker, but you always want a donut."
- Nick Griffin

"I listen to your show all the time" - Tom Griswold to Michael Feldman
"My show's not on all the time."
- Michael Feldman right back to Tom

"Sodomy sounds bad in any language."
- Bob Kevoian

"The metric system makes you're penis sound bigger."
- Ryan Belleville

"Have you ever worn a different deodorant and for the rest of the day you feel like there is a stranger standing next to you."
- Jim Gaffigan

"If it's so great outside, why are all the bugs trying to get inside my house?"
- Jim Gaffigan on camping

"I want to work at an unemployment office because even if they fire you, they still have to pay you."
- Phil Mazo

"If I could punch just one animal in the face, it would be an ostrich."
- "Larry King"

"Sodomy takes the fun out of birdwatching."
- Tom Griswold on gay parks

"I have horrible gay-dar. I could see two guys making out at a bar and think they are just excited about the playoffs."
- Dwight Slade

"Books are for people who don't have ideas of their own."
- Greg Hahn

"I hate it here so what's the rush?"
- Greg Hahn to his former boss about motivation at work.

"Everyone has a butt, Tom."
- Kristi Lee to Tom about teaching kids about proctology

"My son is a horrible driver. He's hit everything but the lottery."
- Mike Armstrong

"I hate porn with plots."
-Bob Kevoian

"In Spanish, 'passionate' means 'loud and irrational.'"
- Pat Dixon on his passionate girlfriend

"My parents got divorced after 40 years. That's the longest game of chicken ever."
- David Dyer

"Last time I went to a gym they gave me a t-shirt with their name on it and asked me not to wear it."
- Wild Bill Bauer on his physical fitness

"Musician people aren't dumb."
- Duff McKagan on the stereotype of rockers

"With the sweater vest and the beard, Gunner looks like a lumberjack going to church."
- Tom Griswold

"Since I got my grills done I'm smiling even when I'm angry. I smile like the Cleveland Indian."
- Guy Torry on having his teeth done

"My pee is okay."
- Tom on accidently dropping his cell phone in the toilet

"Life and I don't always get along."
- Tom Griswold on asking a lot of questions and being skeptical

"You can't play grab-ass unless you're naked."
-Chick McGee

"Here's a quote I want on the page; 'Tom is a douche bag'"
- Bob Kevoian

"Have you ever notice that when you talk about Segways it's hard to transition into another topic?"
- Tom Griswold making a joke about the homonyms Segway and segues

"I got a Snuggie the other day; the blanket with sleeves. Finally, a uniform for depression."
- Pat Dixon

"I've never thought about having kids before, but after having so many computer problems lately..."
- Nick Griffin on kids' knowledge of technology

"I'm guessing Native Americans wish they had had a tougher immigration policy."
- John Evans

"I quit smoking and drinking and I eat better. Now I'm so healthy it makes me sick."
- Pat Dixon

"Calling Kathy Lee 'entertainment' is like calling falling off the roof 'transportation.'"
- Rocky LaPorte

"Is that sound a horse galloping or Tom chewing?"
- Chick McGee on the Tom's table manners

"Hugh Hefner is never giving up power. He's the Fidel Castro of boobies."
- Jeffrey Ross

"After what happened to my 401k, my new retirement plan is the Rapture."
- Scott Dunn

"You know the economy is bad when they start laying off planets."
- Bob Kevoian on why they might have downgraded Pluto from its status as a planet

"'Don't Stop till they say no twice' isn't a sales technique, it's a fraternity slogan."
- Patti Vasquez on pushy sales people

"When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell."
- Emo Philips on Evolution vs. Intelligent Design

"Diarrhea doesn't work on a nudie beach."
- Tom Griswold

"You're going to hell on a scholarship."
- Spanky Brown to Tom Griswold

"A little girl getting bit by a pony is like being raped by Santa."
- Louis C.K. on crushing people's dreams

"If you can figure out how to kill a guy with a cassette tape, he probably deserves to die."
- Tom Griswold on weapons in prison.

"The desert doesn't make me horny."
- Kristi Lee

"When girls go wild they flash their boobs. When women go wild, they kill men."
- Louis C.K. on loving older women.

"Godfather III is the Curly Joe of that film series."
- Tom Griswold

"There are gangs of transvestites? I always thought that was more of a loner thing."
- Tom Griswold

"It's also known as the Northwest Baby Passage"
- Bob Kevoian with another name for mommy parts

"Between me, Oprah and her period, you don't have a chance."
- Geoff Brown as the Devil calling about your girl-friend

"I'm new to the 'front-ass' concept."
- Tom Griswold

"Chick, your sexuality has always been up for grabs."
- Tom Griswold

"There was a time when Kristi's genitalia was in the witness protection program."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's past

"Winning 'Best Supporting Actor in a Music Video' is like one step above eating the most mashed potatoes."
- Rodney Carrington on his CMT Award

"My dog reminds me of my ex-husband. He's not pulling his weight financially and he's afraid of the vacuum."
- Karen Rontowski

"Jesus saves... and then he passes those savings on to me."
- Ryan Stout on looking for the good deals in life.

"I've never noticed Kristi to have any excessive flatulence."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's diet.

"Sloppy Joes are just burgers that got their asses kicked."
- Donnie Baker on beating your food like Tom beats his cereal

"You don't want to be in the back row of a nude yoga class."
-Kristi Lee

"This guy got ripped to shreds humorously."
- Tom Griswold on the guy who fell into a bear pit while taking a picture

"My gym in LA is actually more like a gay bar with free weights."
- Dov Davidoff

"Nicole Kidman at 9-months pregnant is my goal weight two years from now."
- Caroline Rhea

"I'm not fat, I'm hard to kidnap."
- Jen Kober

"I've always wanted to date a baby."
- Tom Griswold on behalf of the woman dating Vern Troyer (Mini-Me)

"Do you listen to anyone but yourself?"
- Kristi Lee to Tommy G. during a newscast.