Goodbye Madden
Unless you've somehow avoided all types of media for the past 24 hours, you probably heard the news that NFL legend John Madden is retiring from the broadcast booth after decades of service. But don't fret, even though John is walking away from the game, his voice won't be forgotten anytime soon if Frank Caliendo has anything to do about it. Frank is about as close to the real thing as you can get, and sometimes you can't tell the difference at all. Along with his dead-on Madden impression, Frank is known for his work on Mad TV, Frank TV, countless ringtones and the NFL on FOX pregame show.

Actual Size
When comedian Jimmy Pardo enters a room he demands respect, and maybe some day he’ll get it. Combative, agitated and yet still historically funny, Jimmy is one of the finest stand-ups working today, though he still fells he never gets the love he truly deserves. Pardo is also no stranger to the small screen having popped up on a number of shows including The Surreal Life, Funny Money, Movies at Our House and a very memorable episode of The Tonight Show. Oh, and if you ever invite Jimmy over to your house, make sure you don't cook anything, he can't stand the smell of food being prepared.

Iron Maiden Takes Flight
Fans of Iron Maiden are lining up outside theaters around the country in anticipation of the release of their new film Flight 666. The film gives fans a first hand look at what it's like behind the scenes, following the band during the first leg of their Somewhere Back in Time tour. Among the musician's featured in the film is Iron Maiden drummer, Nicko McBrain. McBrain is often referred to as the true entertainer of the group with his high energy style and crazy drum kits. For those that can't catch the film in theaters, Flight 666 will be released on DVD May 25th.

FACTOID - Along with music, Nicko McBrain is also an avid golfer.

Comedy's Southern Belle
Even if comedian Lisa Landry isn’t playing at a comedy club near your, she’s not a hard woman to find.  Her Comedy Central special is in frequent rotation, she can also be seen on E!, MSNBC and FOX and has made guest appearances on Law & Order: SVU, Fashion Police and a number of national commercials including a series of TBS "Bitcoms."  Her easy going style and sharp wit have also landed her a spot on Bret Butler’s The Southern Belles of Comedy and have earned her the reputation as being on of the top female acts in the country.

Mr. Excitement
Jamie Kaler decided early on that he was going to take as much out of life as he possible could.  After growing up as the youngest of a large family in a small town in New Hampshire, Kaler attended school at Boston University, fulfilled his obligation to Uncle Sam on Navy destroyers stationed in Hong Kong, Bangkok and the Persian Golf, and the returned to the US where he became a bartender, actor and stand-up comedian.  Not too shabby.  These days you can find him on stages across the country and on the TBS sitcom My Boys alongside Jim Gaffigan. 

The King is Coming to WGN
When WWE Superstars invades WGN America this Thursday, all three brands of the world 's most famous wrestling company will be represented as members of RAW, Smackdown and ECW compete in exclusive matches each and every week. Jerry "The King" Lawler will be calling the action from the announcers table as he's done every Monday Night on RAW for over a decade. Along with his time with the WWE, Lawler is famous for his war with comedian Andy Kaufman which boiled over on an episode of The Late Show w/ David Letterman. Outside the ring, 'King' is a skilled painter, avid musician and author. WWE Superstars airs Thursday nights at 8pm on WGN America.

FACTOID - In his career, Jerry The King Lawler has captured over 120 titles.

Tater Salad In the Morning
Since teaming up as part of the now world famous Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Ron White has become one of the must successful comedians working today. Along with selling out theaters and casinos all over the country on his nationwide tours, Ron has made guest appearances on TV shows, written books, released chart-topping CDs and filmed a number of comedy specials including his most recent , Behavioral Problems, which will premiere on Comedy Central April 19, 2009 at 9:00PM ET. Shot in Seattle, WA last November, “Behavioral Problems” marks Ron White’s third solo comedy CD/DVD, and will be available for sale on Tuesday, April 21st.

Bobble-head Ron arrives on "Tater Air" for a psychiatric evaluation after his infamous brush with the law.

Try it With an 'E'
The only thing harder to spell than Costaki Economopoulos' name, is the weekly feature he hosts, The Economonologue. However, we figure that since it's a made up word, we've got a little wiggle room if we happen to misplace an 'o' or a 'u.' And though his is not a name you'd want to get as a puzzle on Wheel of Fortune, it is one you don't mind seeing on our guest board because he's one of the most clever comedians working today.

Vague But True
For longer than we can remember comedian Tim Bedore has been joining us each Wednesday to deliver an editorial in which he talks about whatever happens to be on his mind. These musings can range from his relationship with his daughter, to hot topics in the news, and even updates on how the animal kingdom is waging war on mankind.

Back From Iraq
After spending four years in the Marines, most of which he can't remember, Mark Sweeney had a hard time figuring out what to do next. During that time he worked as a bus boy, construction worker, real estate agent, bartender and copier repairman. Then, after one fateful performance on stage during an open mic night, Sweeney found his calling to become a stand-up comedian. Along with countless comedy clubs, "Sweenz" has also made appearances on TV shows like Boston Public, Third Rock From the Sun, and Days of Our Lives. He also spends a great deal of time overseas performing for the troops.

Around the World
For Free!
The main reason people give for not traveling abroad, aside from laziness, is the cost, but Alex Boylan is proving that money doesn't have to be a factor. In his new show, Around the World for Free, Boylan is traveling the globe with nothing but a backpack and a single cameraman. But extreme globetrotting is nothing new to this surfing fanatic and television personality, he won the second season of CBS' hit reality show The Amazing Race. Around the World for Free premieres this Thursday at 9pm ET on WGN America, immediately following WWE Superstars.

Roasting History
They say those that don't learn for the past are doomed to repeat it. That's something Scott Dunn doesn't have to worry about because he spends the majority of his time looking backwards. Dunn is a comedian, an author, a father of two, a husband of one, and is famous for his "Roasts" of major historical events. He calls in every Monday to share comical and historical tidbits of knowledge, followed up by a pop quiz. Start cramming now.

"Books are for people who don't have ideas of their own."
- Greg Hahn

"I hate it here so what's the rush?"
- Greg Hahn to his former boss about motivation at work.

"Everyone has a butt, Tom."
- Kristi Lee to Tom about teaching kids about proctology

"My son is a horrible driver. He's hit everything but the lottery."
- Mike Armstrong

"I hate porn with plots."
-Bob Kevoian

"In Spanish, 'passionate' means 'loud and irrational.'"
- Pat Dixon on his passionate girlfriend

"My parents got divorced after 40 years. That's the longest game of chicken ever."
- David Dyer

"Last time I went to a gym they gave me a t-shirt with their name on it and asked me not to wear it."
- Wild Bill Bauer on his physical fitness

"Musician people aren't dumb."
- Duff McKagan on the stereotype of rockers

"With the sweater vest and the beard, Gunner looks like a lumberjack going to church."
- Tom Griswold

"Since I got my grills done I'm smiling even when I'm angry. I smile like the Cleveland Indian."
- Guy Torry on having his teeth done

"My pee is okay."
- Tom on accidently dropping his cell phone in the toilet

"Life and I don't always get along."
- Tom Griswold on asking a lot of questions and being skeptical

"You can't play grab-ass unless you're naked."
-Chick McGee

"Here's a quote I want on the page; 'Tom is a douche bag'"
- Bob Kevoian

"Have you ever notice that when you talk about Segways it's hard to transition into another topic?"
- Tom Griswold making a joke about the homonyms Segway and segues

"I got a Snuggie the other day; the blanket with sleeves. Finally, a uniform for depression."
- Pat Dixon

"I've never thought about having kids before, but after having so many computer problems lately..."
- Nick Griffin on kids' knowledge of technology

"I'm guessing Native Americans wish they had had a tougher immigration policy."
- John Evans

"I quit smoking and drinking and I eat better. Now I'm so healthy it makes me sick."
- Pat Dixon

"Calling Kathy Lee 'entertainment' is like calling falling off the roof 'transportation.'"
- Rocky LaPorte

"Is that sound a horse galloping or Tom chewing?"
- Chick McGee on the Tom's table manners

"Hugh Hefner is never giving up power. He's the Fidel Castro of boobies."
- Jeffrey Ross

"After what happened to my 401k, my new retirement plan is the Rapture."
- Scott Dunn

"You know the economy is bad when they start laying off planets."
- Bob Kevoian on why they might have downgraded Pluto from its status as a planet

"'Don't Stop till they say no twice' isn't a sales technique, it's a fraternity slogan."
- Patti Vasquez on pushy sales people

"When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell."
- Emo Philips on Evolution vs. Intelligent Design

"Diarrhea doesn't work on a nudie beach."
- Tom Griswold

"You're going to hell on a scholarship."
- Spanky Brown to Tom Griswold

"A little girl getting bit by a pony is like being raped by Santa."
- Louis C.K. on crushing people's dreams

"If you can figure out how to kill a guy with a cassette tape, he probably deserves to die."
- Tom Griswold on weapons in prison.

"The desert doesn't make me horny."
- Kristi Lee

"When girls go wild they flash their boobs. When women go wild, they kill men."
- Louis C.K. on loving older women.

"Godfather III is the Curly Joe of that film series."
- Tom Griswold

"There are gangs of transvestites? I always thought that was more of a loner thing."
- Tom Griswold

"It's also known as the Northwest Baby Passage"
- Bob Kevoian with another name for mommy parts

"Between me, Oprah and her period, you don't have a chance."
- Geoff Brown as the Devil calling about your girl-friend

"I'm new to the 'front-ass' concept."
- Tom Griswold

"Chick, your sexuality has always been up for grabs."
- Tom Griswold

"There was a time when Kristi's genitalia was in the witness protection program."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's past

"Winning 'Best Supporting Actor in a Music Video' is like one step above eating the most mashed potatoes."
- Rodney Carrington on his CMT Award

"My dog reminds me of my ex-husband. He's not pulling his weight financially and he's afraid of the vacuum."
- Karen Rontowski

"Jesus saves... and then he passes those savings on to me."
- Ryan Stout on looking for the good deals in life.

"I've never noticed Kristi to have any excessive flatulence."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's diet.

"Sloppy Joes are just burgers that got their asses kicked."
- Donnie Baker on beating your food like Tom beats his cereal

"You don't want to be in the back row of a nude yoga class."
-Kristi Lee

"This guy got ripped to shreds humorously."
- Tom Griswold on the guy who fell into a bear pit while taking a picture

"My gym in LA is actually more like a gay bar with free weights."
- Dov Davidoff

"Nicole Kidman at 9-months pregnant is my goal weight two years from now."
- Caroline Rhea

"I'm not fat, I'm hard to kidnap."
- Jen Kober

"I've always wanted to date a baby."
- Tom Griswold on behalf of the woman dating Vern Troyer (Mini-Me)

"Do you listen to anyone but yourself?"
- Kristi Lee to Tommy G. during a newscast.