He's Done It All
He's sold out comedy clubs all over the country, is a former cop, had hobos that lived in his front yard as a kid and has even jumped over a tiger while in the Bahamas, so it's safe to say that Mike Armstrong has no shortage in the interesting life experiences department. But that's what makes his comedy shows so enjoyable and why he's received countless standing ovations. Armstrong has a story or a prank he's pulled to go along with just about any topic, and he tells them in a way that makes it nearly impossible not to laugh. Mike is a regular on the BOB&TOM Comedy All-Stars tour and recently released his first comedy album, Comedy Police.

For the Love
of Comedy
He’s been booed, fired, kicked off a USO tour, told off by a cruise director and is no longer welcomed in Canada, but none of theses things have ever been able to deter Darryl Lenox from his dream of becoming one of the best stand-up comedians in America.  While others might have given up, Darryl continued his love affair with the mic, constantly improving by working and learning from the greats. With determination and hard work, he’s been able to achieve a number of career goals including appearing on BET, Comedy Central and A&E.

Matt Fugate Opens Up
From the moment he started getting laughs while reciting old Bill Cosby routines on the playground, Matt Fugate knew he wanted to be a standup comedian. And though he's had to begin writing his own material, and can no longer plagiarize old albums, he's been able to turn his defense mechanism into a successful career. Fugate's style of comedy is often described as being smart, which we are pretty sure is a compliment. Along with standup, Fugate is also a co-creator of the spoof website AlliedChemical.com and a humor columnist for Effect Magazine.

Put on a Happy Face
Nick Griffin may not be the happiest person you'll even encounter, but he'll most definitely be one of the funniest. Doing stand-up comedy since 1987, mostly because he’s funny and hates having a boss, he has fine-tuned his act to become one of the most well rounded, if not most depressed, stand-up comedians today. So while he may be dark, cynical, sound depressed and have a real problem getting along with women, Griffin is still a must see if he performs in a club near you. Nick has been featured on Comedy Central's Premium Blend, The Late Show, and The BOB&TOM Comedy All-Stars Tour.

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Outside the Box
Not satisfied with being one of the few accountants at a 'Big Five' firm with a good sense of humor, John Garrett instead chose to be one of the only standup comedians in the world with a CPA. Now he's able take the stage at colleges and clubs around the country and poke fun at the corporate world he couldn’t wait to leave. Plus, he never has to set foot in a cubical again. When people come to see one of John's shows, they quickly realize that he's the kind of guy they'd love to have working in their office, that is of course, unless they're one of his former managers.

Being Frank
If imitation is the highest form of flattery, then comedian Frank Caliendo must one of the nicest guys in Hollywood. A comedian and master impressionist, Caliendo can be seen on TBS hosting and starring in his own sketch comedy show, Frank TV, during football season he's on FOX making football picks, he's always on tour playing theaters around the country and occasionally you can find him making appearances on late night talk shows. In fact, his most recent appearances on The Tonight Show will be re-airing this Wednesday night on NBC.

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Ross Bennett,
Right Now
Ross Bennett's entertainment career began when he dropped out of West Point during his sophomore year in order to take up a life of comedy and theater. He claims this is the best thing he's ever done for his country. Though his parents didn't find the career change all that humorous at first, who's laughing now that Bennett has been able to make a name (or two, he used to be known as Eddie Strange) for himself doing work he loves. Ross recently released his a brand new DVD, Alive and FLoatin', and made another appearance on the B&T project As Big As a Hat, with his track about finding a new catch phrase.

Mr. Economopoulos
Comedian Costaki Economopoulos may be the star of our most oddly named segment, but it also happens to be one of the funniest. Since it's debut, The Economonologue has covered a variety of topics including strange superstitions, wacky laws and the origin of clichés. Costaki's able to take the things he sees and hears in everyday life and turn turn them into comedic observations you won't be able to believe you haven't thought of before, and will never be able to forget.

Urine For a Good Time!
Finally, there is a new technology to help in the war against drunk guys urinating on the bathroom floors in bars. The Whizometer is here to give guys something else to shoot at by turning the act of urination into a competition. Now you can compete against your buddies to find out whose urine leaves their body the fastest. Here at the Friggemal Building, Tom and Chick gave this new device a go, taking turns in the men's room. Though Chick won the initial competition, Tom claims it's only because he didn't understand how it worked. We'll keep you posted on the results of any further duels.

Everything Hurts
A former stand-up comedian, Bill Scheft decided a number of years ago that he preferred writing the jokes to telling them. That's what's made him such a valuable asset to The Late Show w/ David Letterman, where he's one of the head writers for Dave's famous opening monologues. He also contributed to the new book, The Late Show Fun Facts, authored by Letterman and the other Late Show writers. But this isn't Bill's only published work, he's also the author of three novels, The Ringer, Time Won't Let Me, and his brand new book Everything Hurts, which was just released today!

Nils Does Neal
Very few musicians ever get to play with their idols, but guitar virtuoso Nils Lofgren was doing just that at age 17 when he joined Neil Young's band on his certified platinum After the Gold Rush album. From that early start Nils has since played with Ringo Starr's All-Star Band, was the Musical Director for the Cable Ace Awards, and is the guitarist for Bruce Springsteen's E-Street Band (currently out on tour). Though Nils keeps busy, he still finds time to teach wannabe rockers how to play their own ax with his Online Guitar School. In other news, Nils recently released a brand new album, The Loner: Nils Sings Neal, on which he plays acoustic versions of classic Neal Young Songs.

Where America Turns For News
Comedian Bob Zany may not realize it by the way we treat him when he calls in, but he's our most eagerly anticipated guest each week. There are few comedians working today that have the guts it takes to come on a nationally syndicated radio show every week and perform all new material. Then to top it all off, he invites listeners to call in and fix the jokes that bit the big one. Sounds fun doesn't it?

Mr. JJ
If you saw the movie Johnson Family Vacation, you’ll probably recognize Jeremiah “JJ” Williamson as "Cousin Bowdie," but did you know he’s also a talented standup comedian?  As one of the rising stars on the standup scene, JJ was selected to take part in Cedric the Entertainer's "Platinum Comedy Series.”  Williamson has also been featured on Def Comedy Jam, BET’s Comic View and Jamie Foxx Presents Laffapalooza.

Monday Morning History Lesson
After almost two weeks away, comedian Scott Dunn is back with another one of his info-taining history lessons. For those of you who aren't familiar with Dunn, he's a stand-up comedian, an author, a father of two, a husband of one, and is also a history buff. Every Monday, Scott's uses his knowledge of the past to create a regular feature on the show in which his "Roasts" major events throughout history, and then gives us a little pop-quiz when he's done. So make sure you've got a No. 2 pencil handy.

"My son in a horrible driver. He's hit everything but the lottery."
- Mike Armstrong

"I hate porn with plots."
-Bob Kevoian

"In Spanish, 'passionate' means 'loud and irrational.'"
- Pat Dixon on his passionate girlfriend

"My parents got divorced after 40 years. That's the longest game of chicken ever."
- David Dyer

"Last time I went to a gym they gave me a t-shirt with their name on it and asked me not to wear it."
- Wild Bill Bauer on his physical fitness

"Musician people aren't dumb."
- Duff McKagan on the stereotype of rockers

"With the sweater vest and the beard, Gunner looks like a lumberjack going to church."
- Tom Griswold

"Since I got my grills done I'm smiling even when I'm angry. I smile like the Cleveland Indian."
- Guy Torry on having his teeth done

"My pee is okay."
- Tom on accidently dropping his cell phone in the toilet

"Life and I don't always get along."
- Tom Griswold on asking a lot of questions and being skeptical

"You can't play grab-ass unless you're naked."
-Chick McGee

"Here's a quote I want on the page; 'Tom is a douche bag'"
- Bob Kevoian

"Have you ever notice that when you talk about Segways it's hard to transition into another topic?"
- Tom Griswold making a joke about the homonyms Segway and segues

"I got a Snuggie the other day; the blanket with sleeves. Finally, a uniform for depression."
- Pat Dixon

"I've never thought about having kids before, but after having so many computer problems lately..."
- Nick Griffin on kids' knowledge of technology

"I'm guessing Native Americans wish they had had a tougher immigration policy."
- John Evans

"I quit smoking and drinking and I eat better. Now I'm so healthy it makes me sick."
- Pat Dixon

"Calling Kathy Lee 'entertainment' is like calling falling off the roof 'transportation.'"
- Rocky LaPorte

"Is that sound a horse galloping or Tom chewing?"
- Chick McGee on the Tom's table manners

"Hugh Hefner is never giving up power. He's the Fidel Castro of boobies."
- Jeffrey Ross

"After what happened to my 401k, my new retirement plan is the Rapture."
- Scott Dunn

"You know the economy is bad when they start laying off planets."
- Bob Kevoian on why they might have downgraded Pluto from its status as a planet

"'Don't Stop till they say no twice' isn't a sales technique, it's a fraternity slogan."
- Patti Vasquez on pushy sales people

"When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell."
- Emo Philips on Evolution vs. Intelligent Design

"Diarrhea doesn't work on a nudie beach."
- Tom Griswold

"You're going to hell on a scholarship."
- Spanky Brown to Tom Griswold

"A little girl getting bit by a pony is like being raped by Santa."
- Louis C.K. on crushing people's dreams

"If you can figure out how to kill a guy with a cassette tape, he probably deserves to die."
- Tom Griswold on weapons in prison.

"The desert doesn't make me horny."
- Kristi Lee

"When girls go wild they flash their boobs. When women go wild, they kill men."
- Louis C.K. on loving older women.

"Godfather III is the Curly Joe of that film series."
- Tom Griswold

"There are gangs of transvestites? I always thought that was more of a loner thing."
- Tom Griswold

"It's also known as the Northwest Baby Passage"
- Bob Kevoian with another name for mommy parts

"Between me, Oprah and her period, you don't have a chance."
- Geoff Brown as the Devil calling about your girl-friend

"I'm new to the 'front-ass' concept."
- Tom Griswold

"Chick, your sexuality has always been up for grabs."
- Tom Griswold

"There was a time when Kristi's genitalia was in the witness protection program."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's past

"Winning 'Best Supporting Actor in a Music Video' is like one step above eating the most mashed potatoes."
- Rodney Carrington on his CMT Award

"My dog reminds me of my ex-husband. He's not pulling his weight financially and he's afraid of the vacuum."
- Karen Rontowski

"Jesus saves... and then he passes those savings on to me."
- Ryan Stout on looking for the good deals in life.

"I've never noticed Kristi to have any excessive flatulence."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's diet.

"Sloppy Joes are just burgers that got their asses kicked."
- Donnie Baker on beating your food like Tom beats his cereal

"You don't want to be in the back row of a nude yoga class."
-Kristi Lee

"This guy got ripped to shreds humorously."
- Tom Griswold on the guy who fell into a bear pit while taking a picture

"My gym in LA is actually more like a gay bar with free weights."
- Dov Davidoff

"Nicole Kidman at 9-months pregnant is my goal weight two years from now."
- Caroline Rhea

"I'm not fat, I'm hard to kidnap."
- Jen Kober

"I've always wanted to date a baby."
- Tom Griswold on behalf of the woman dating Vern Troyer (Mini-Me)

"Do you listen to anyone but yourself?"
- Kristi Lee to Tommy G. during a newscast.